The view from my window

It's about time I do another blog post to update everyone on my hand status and my location in the world. At this moment I am in a little speck on the map town called Lester Iowa which I have adopted as my second home. Lester Iowa is about 3 miles from the tri state marker showing where the boarders of Iowa, Minnesota and South Dakota come together. I have attached a picture of what I can see from my kitchen table as I write this. We have already had two snow falls this year and it is only early November!

Since my last blog post my life has been a bit of a roller coaster. I have worked through 2 months of pretty intensive physical therapy and I am now able to make half a fist. My pinkie and ring finger still do not bend enough to be useful to me but I have enough hand strength that I am able to shear again and that is the important thing:)

I started shearing again in the middle of September, staring with small jobs. I was able to knock out just a few at a time and slowly begin to get a feel to what my limitations are. Since my left hand was the one that was hurt and I am right handed I found that I did not have too many issues with shearing even without being able to bend all my fingers. I found the hardest part has been shearing goats. Goats require more manipulation of the skin and a firm hold when shearing around the head. I had some rough days fighting with goats because of my weakness but I did get them all done (with a little help from my sweetie:)

People have been incredibly understanding this year since I have has to move around shearing dates and refer out jobs that I couldn't handle. This fall had to cater to my healing and the availability of my help so I want to take a second to thank everyone for their understanding and encouragement as I continue to get back up to speed. I found this fall also was nice because I was able to group my work into chunks instead of having it spread out over 3 months. It was nice to get everyone done and then be able to go visit friends and have time for all my physical therapy and doctors appointments! I feel like I am going to continue with this schedule in the future as it really made life simpler.

I am currently out in Iowa where I have been able to push myself to my limits and really work my arm to try to regain my strength. We shear about three days a week out here and for the most part they have been long days so I have been able to see how my hand responds to stress (answer: not so well). I have woken up a few times the next day and was unable to move my hand at all. But with stretching and soaking in hot water and rest days it comes round again. I am now aware of the phenomenon of weather changes and how it effects compromised body parts. When people complain that their bad knee hurts when a storm is coming, they are not kidding! My hand aches when the weather is changing and there is nothing that helps completely to numb the pain. But I hope that the more time I put between this incident I will think about it less and less. 

So for now I am achy but working so I am happy. It is nice to be working with a team of supportive shearers. Nice to have lots of lambs to shear. Really nice to be healthy. 

As for my future plans, right now I have one more surgery scheduled right before thanksgiving. This is a quick outpatient deal where they will open up my hand and remove the scar tissue connections that are preventing my fingers from fully closing. I will have about a week to recover (just to let the stitches heal) then I am ok to shear again. From here on out I am supposed to move my hand as much as possible so that scar tissue doesn't re-adhere the tendons. I really hope I can make a full fist after this. But even if it only gives me back a fraction of my flexibility I think I will still be happy. I know what it feels like to not be able to move those fingers at all and I am functioning well enough with my current limits. I am so grateful for what this year has taught me and I'm looking forward to finally putting it all behind me and focus on next year and the opportunities I will have. 

I'm already thinking about spring and can't wait to see everyone again:)

Living with intention

It's amazing how its so easy to take health for granted.  I have spent many hours since my accident looking at my good right hand, flexing it, watching the muscles and tendons moving easily underneath the skin. Appreciating all the wonders of a healthy hand. My full time job lately has been getting better. After meeting with my physical therapist, I'm doing a set stretching regime followed by massage and skin manipulation for ten minutes every hour. It was almost horrifying to see how little I was able to bend my fingers when I started and to see how much my skin had fused to the tissues underneath due to scar tissue. Every time I move my fingers all the skin moves with it! But I've been working through the yuck factor and being diligent. I am already seeing improvement. 

It's been tough avoiding using my left hand. It is mind blowing how many things you can't do with just one hand. You... can't... twist... anything... bottle tops, medicine caps, salt and pepper grinders, or even door knobs. How often does anyone pass through a door without carrying at least one thing? So that uses up your one hand allotment. That has been the most frustrating part, never being able to open doors! It takes twice as long to go to the bathroom since its harder to button or zip pants. You can't cut up food. Poor Kevin has to cut up steak for all of us lately! 

But being one handed forces you to think through every step of every action you intend. Making a bowl of cereal? Figure out the maximum number of trips you will have to make back and forth between the table and refrigerator to get the bowl, spoon, cereal, milk etc...multiply that number by 4 and plan on that number being the necessary number of trips needed to make that one bowl of cereal. I can't complain since walking back and forth is the only real exercise I get these days! But it has done wonders at slowing me down, making me think through my actions, living life with intent. I have to think about what I am doing to not only prevent myself from inadvertently trying to use my left hand but also to keep me sane as I try to help out around the house as much as I'm able.

This period of my life will definitely be remembered as a time of inconvenience and discomfort, but I'm  hoping the life lessons I've learned from this will stay with me when I'm back and running. I hope I can continue to live life with intent and appreciate my health and I hope everyone who reads this can take a moment to be thankful for their health and to think about slowing down, even for a moment, to appreciate everything they are able to do. We are all very blessed.